You Need to Hear What Happened When I Tried Flotation Therapy

Annie | The Blonde Sponge
Feb 6, 2019
5 min read

Updated: Sep 19, 2020

The Blonde Sponge's Annie O'Brien reviews floatation therapy.

Since I’ve begun this journey of self-development and self-discovery there has been one common thread among every person I’ve read about or listened to: They all meditate.

Every time someone mentioned it I was like ehhhhh, not my thing. But after hearing it so many times I finally googled it. Have you ever looked up the benefits of meditation?

It’s freakin' nuts:

Elevated energy levels
Improves metabolism
Improve sleeping habits ( more hours/ deeper sleep)
Reduces blood pressure
Improves immune system
Decreases headaches
Improved heart rate and breathing
Helps lose weight (Say what??)
Produces more serotonin
Lessens inflammatory disorders & asthma
Lessens muscles & joint pain
Reduces aging (!!!!)

And those are just the physical ones!! Here are a few of the mental benefits:

Increased focus & mental acuity
Increased memory retention & recall
Better decision-making & problem-solving
Better & faster information processing
Helps manage ADHD & ADD/ anxiety
Decrease in depression
Increased relaxation & awareness
More mental power during the day
Improved communication
Better cognitive skills & creative thinking

I mean, that's impressive.

And apparently you don’t have to meditate like a Tibetan monk to reap the benefits either. They say even 5 minutes a day can transform your life.

Sooo sit still for 5 minutes a day and you’ll have inner peace, new-found energy and strokes of genius? AND WEIGHT LOSS?

You have my attention.

The best definition of meditation I've heard is simply to sit in purposeful silence.

You sit still, in a comfortable position with your eyes closed and try not to focus on your thoughts as they come to you. Just let them pass until they come less and less.

Easier said than done.

I started setting a timer for 5 minutes every night to practice. I’m not a hyper-active person and yet when I tried to intentionally think of nothing I was suddenly thinking of everything!

So when my younger sister, S.D. (her name is Sarah, I called her Sahara Desert growing up and now she is simply S.D.) told me she won two free 60 minute floatation therapy sessions at Stillpoint Yoga and Float I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to master this new skill!

So now I’m sure you’re probably wondering what the hell flotation therapy is. Here's how it's described on their website:

" Floating is a unique experience with which to completely relax your body and mind in your own private Float pool. Perfectly supported by a skin temperature solution of approximately 1,200 pounds of Epsom salt and water, you will lose track of where your body ends and the water begins. While basking in total weightlessness, you will feel the release of all the tension stored in your muscles, allowing your mind and body to rest like never before, and you will emerge feeling entirely rejuvenated."

" With no sensory input, your brain waves slow down, allowing you to easily drop into a deeply meditative state."

What better way for me to practice!

So last Sunday the two of us drove to our appointments, ready to float! I had carefully combed through their FAQ page and was feeling fully prepared and psyched to get started.

The facility was gorgeous and had a very calming energy from the second you walk through the door. We were greeted by a very nice woman at the front desk who gave us and our two fellow floaters the run-down on what to do.

Every float room came complete with a changing area, a shower (with wall dispensers of shampoo, conditioner and body wash), a dock for your music (should you want any), face wipes, ear plugs, Vaseline (to shield any scratches you may have from the salt), and of course the mystical, salt-filled tub.

The instructions were pretty simple:

Shower with body wash & shampoo.
Hop in.
Float for an hour.
Hop out and wash your hair.

You had 7-ish minutes to change and shower before the lights went out in the tub chamber.

Welp, that was problematic for me.

Let’s be real, I work for a company that sells professional haircare, I couldn’t use some mystery shampoo. So I wasted time digging out my personal stash. Plus I thought I'd use this time to multi-task and treat the puffiness under my eyes, so I was fumbling around with the Hydropeptide eye masks that I smuggled in when the lights went out in the tub.

Shit.

There was a light switch in there but I didn’t see where it was before they went out. I carefully climbed in.

Wow, you really do float.

For a moment it’s pretty trippy. I mean it is PITCH BLACK. You can’t hear a damn thing. And you literally can’t feel your body. My ears started to fill with water as my head bobbed.

Damn, I should have grabbed the ear plugs.

I decided to intentionally tip my head back and let me ears stay under so the feeling of them going in and out of water wouldn’t distract me.

This is probably an ear infection waiting to happen.

Ahh, but this is so relaxing.

I figured an hour was a long time (and I’ve never meditated for more than 5 minutes) so I didn’t have to honker down and work on freeing my mind just yet.

I was just flappin' around a bit when I felt my toe touch the edge of the tub. Without thinking, I pushed off the way you would in a swimming pool when your float creeps towards the side. I probably moved all of 2 inches but I felt like I was spiraling in outer space like Sandra Bullock in Gravity. I legit laughed out loud thinking of this image.

Okay, it was time to give my meditation a whirl.

Focus on your breath..

As soon as I did I suddenly could hear my heartbeat clear as day. It was like I was listening with a stethoscope. WOW.

I just took deep breaths in and out.

And then I saw a soft light appear.

IS THAT GOD?

I’d heard of people having some kind of religious breakthrough or message from God during meditation. I was so excited! What was God’s message for me?

I listened intently.

BUZZ. BUZZ.

Fuck, it’s my cellphone.

I could have sworn I put it on silent.

Okay, let’s try this again. Relax, focus on your breath.

Then I remembered I had gum in my mouth.

Shit, I have to get rid of this. But how? I can’t see a freakin' thing!

I felt around for the edge of the tub. Once I located it, I blindly reached for my mouth to grab my gum. I dripped salt water in my mouth in the process. (The saltiest water OF ALL TIME).

I was literally spitting up water on myself.

Yikes, this is not going well.

I reached out to put my gum on the ledge and felt it slip out of my hand.

Seriously?!

Omg, what if this ends up in my hair? I am going to end up looking like Clarice in “It Takes Two” when the Olsen twin devilishly spits her gum in her hair and she is forced to chop it into the fugliest cut ever.